Its really difficult to articulate the way I feel. At least on most days. I wish everything wasn't so cryptic. Is it possible to master the mind only using the mind? Is it possible to shed this self-awareness in which I move and locate myself and my emotional responses? Everything I feel is paired with an alternative emotion or a more global idea or desire. I think about myself then I think about my culture. I think about agency (do I have any?) and determination. I haven't read enough to know what I feel and if that feeling is worth knowing. Maybe everything I do is justified by an emotional response to that action or question or combination of the two.
What's worth knowing in this world? Is it worth thinking? Is it worth not thinking?
I want to know what that emptiness in my head is the result of, or lack thereof.
"getting a grip on letting go..."
Existence is more complicated that I assumed it would be. I can't blame "them" because they are just as susceptible.
"blithar blithar blithar"
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