"He has risen indeed"

First, a quote:

"We are overrun today with orthodox scribes, but the prophets, where are they? The hard voice of the scribes sounds over evangelicalism, but the Church waits for the tender voice of the saint who has penetrated the veil and has gazed with inward eye upon the wonder that is God."
- A.W. Tozer

So Tozer's question, that has also become my own question, is, "What hinders us?" And I do mean all of us...

Tozer suggests that it is the presence of the veil within our own hearts that keeps pur hearts from gazing at his wonderous beauty. The flesh has veiled our spiritual desires with the so called "self-life." But is that really true? Is there anything wrong with who we are? Is Christianity in opposition with the human ethic? A question that has recently been on my mind as I listen to bands such as Catharsis, Requiem, and From the Depths (which I recently witness play, and out of it came an interesting story). I cannot help but wonder these thoughts aloud, as well as ponder them in my heart. My initial reaction is that these changes which are to be evident in fellowship with Christ are opposed to our self. They are however not opposed to the new self we find in the presence of the Godhead. These inital reactions have "initially" become my final reactions, if that makes any logical sense.

I see in Tozer's writings something I do not have, but that I wish to have. This tender voice, I wish to be my voice. This desire and love of fellowship with He Who Created Me is something i have grown indifferent to. I can blame this world for the indifference, or I can accept this indifference as my own, as my sin, as my vice to hide the fact that I need utter surrender and transparency. And to be honest, it scares the living hell out of me. These words, they seem so "churchy" and that feels awkward to me. I do not yet know what to think about them, or if they should bother me. But regardless of diction, the heart is still there, and it pants for God like the deer pants for water. But where do these fears become obsolete, and do they ever? Where do I end and where does He begin?

"Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice."

Tozer, again as they say, hits the nail on the head. And this time I cannot help but sense alot of myself in that quote. Alot of my self-interest and self-preservation, and to be completely honest, alot of my own pride. I am mastering the art of disguising myself under Christ. Not living complete in Him, but attempting to use his completeness to make my incompleteness sound complete. But that is not what I want. I do not want the cheapened version, because that is not at all what he offered me at the cross. He offered me Truth, for Truth was intrinsic to His very nature. And at the cross, and in the resurrection, God was made available. Now that the temple veil was broken, let's see if I can surrender the heart's veil. And in that, allow Yeshua to master the beast within, which we all know, He is fully capable of doing.

and from here, I go back to writing my history paper...



"Each morning without you, I die."